Stop with the whining!

I love this site. It’s awesome to be able to share and hear stories from other fellow entrepreneurs, but there’s a trend that I find rather disturbing: Tons of people blame their failures, the fact that they got less funding than others, or their unfunded fears in the fact that they are not from an Ivy league school/not well connected/women/gay/african american/white/gingers/insert other groups here…

Come on guys and gals, cut the whining. I get it, it’s not a fair world, and all of us tend to think we are so fantastic, that if we are rejected by an investor, a client, an accelerator or whatever, it has to do with the fact that that person or team of people are racists, sexists, bigots, or some other thing.

It’s true, sometimes women get underfunded, and some times people who did not drop out of Harvard have a harder time building a network. Hey! Life isn’t always fair.

If you got into this industry, it’s because you like a challenge. You didn’t get the same investment those white guys next to you did? Take the money and prove you can do twice as much as they can with half the funds. A mentor hits on you when you are both drunk? Laugh at him, and move on. This VC was rude to you and wouldn’t answer your e-mails? Chances are, he’s a douche to everyone, and it has nothing to do with your weight.

Come on people, cut it with the constant whining. If you want equal treatment become a school teacher and join the union. We are supposed to be the leaders of the future, so let’s not act like spoiled kids.

  • It is a double edged sword as when the comments come back it gives the OP a chance to drink from the man the F**k up, cup. In some ways, it is better to do it here as a sound board. When they read the comments they can learn from it and adjust.

    I have personally failed multiple times in small and large ways (most people do, good to get it out the way early). Ultimately, the buck stops with me. But when you are caught in the eye of the storm your thinking is different from post analysis stage.

    It is all part of the learning process. When you start out you want to kill the competition, get the press, have the best product, exit at the best founder rate etc… Then, after a while, you realise you are burning lots of energy ( jealously) and get to work on what you can control and ignore what you cannot.

    You figure out the world does not owe you a living, investors can decline your offering, all customers will not love your product.

    Most importantly, the buck stops with you and only you. When shit goes down, it is your responsibility.

  • OMFG- your post was stupid on so many levels. Let’s start with “It’s true, sometimes women get underfunded” How about we start with the fact that men get 96% of funding (you can fact check that) AND move on to the research that men who pitch the exact same fucking company- same deck, same skills but change their gender and they get 40% more money.

    Now let’s address the fact that it seems to bother you that women are actually using this forum to complain about really serious problems like being sexually abused in an incubator.

    You are dumb as shit if you think that these are issues that women or pretty much anyone who isn’t a white man that dropped out of Stanford should just suck up and deal with. These are serious, career ending, glass ceiling enduring, jack crow level fucking problems.

    Don’t drink the motherfucking Kool Aid of the start up world. it is not a meritocracy and your ignorant assessment is part of the reason that nothing changes- it is because douchnozzels like you blame the victims who complain rather than facing the problems.

    • OP here, Im not a white man, and I haven’t dropped out of Stanford, or any Ivy league school for that matter.

      You do realize how foolish it sounds to consider yourself a victim, right?

      I’m not saying that unfairness doesn’t exist. All I’m saying is that whining and hoping things will just improve because you complaint, won’t change anything. If you want women to get more funding stop acting like a little girl who cries over not getting money. Instead work hard and prove you are 10 times better than any guy.

      But whining is easier I guess.

      • Dear OP- no one is whining. They are point in gout that by addressing inequality you can change it but pretending that it will go away if people just stop whining is fucking useless

      • Are you the same jackwad from Secret pushing this douchenozzelry about how anyone who sees discrimination should just work harder?

      • I agree, things like the GitHub incident, are far from creating a more equal environment, and rather show that some women are not up to the challenge.

        Many men aren’t either, but at least they don’t drop sexual abuse accusations, they are way more harmless.

        Feminists have got to stop with the whole rape culture! No one wants to rape you girls!

      • +1 Excuses are like a blanket we curl up with to make ourselves feel better. Doesn’t change for a minute that its cold outside. If you want to make it the point is to find the path (your own path) to success.

    • Have to call BS on your rant here. I respect the fact that its tougher (much tougher) for women in this industry, and many others. However, complaining just won’t fix it. You don’t need more women complaining loudly –you need a woman to come in and hand our asses to us in the startup world –then, you’ll have everyone’s attention..but not before.

      • So what I hear you saying is: To change an unfair system that hinders women’s success, first a woman must excel beyond everyone else despite the unfairness. Explain how this makes sense.

  • If there are systematic or structural inequities, prejudices, or injustices, they should be changed. Whether in the startup community or in any community.

    Shining a light on these inequities and agitating for a fairer and more equitable community is not whining. Without individuals highlighting the problem, there would be no change.

    OP acknowledges that these inequities exist. By name-calling and advocating for silence, OP advocates for the status quo, and thus implicitly approves of the existing inequitable system. What is your justification, OP?

    No one should have to “prove [they] are 10 times better” in order to have an equal opportunity. Least of all in a community that should strive to be a meritocracy, that should seek to reward the best in technology, innovation, and leadership.

    The startup community is great, but it has problems. We need to fix these problems. Silence and OP’s regressive attitude are not the path to a vibrant community.

  • OP:

    Please take the time to learn what systemic means: it refers to something that is spread throughout a system (in this case market/society). With fundraising, it means in all cases (eg even when 10X better as you suggest), women are still underfunded, to the tune of getting only less than 5% of all VC funding, and there are lots of studies out there confirming this. The issue of bias against women goes also beyond startupland; eg in fields like academia, women less grants and less tenure opportunities.

    In any case, downplaying widespread issues is harmful and is not the way to solve them. The more awareness and discussions about solutions, the better.

  • Fuck you. I come here to vent and to share my fears. I don’t come here to lie and pump my head with false sense of confidence.

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