Six months into starting another company. Others think that this must be easy for me. It is not. I am more terrified now than I was the first time . The task is daunting, the responsibility suffocating, and the fear of failure greater than ever…

I’ve been running an internet based specialty products business that serves an international market since 1998. I’m more scared and lacking in faith now than I ever have been in the last 17 years.

The last 7 years have been such a grind and the US market which used to be my life preserver has fallen off the map. I’m a female entrepreneur based in Canada. My business grew to a point where it employed both my son and I. About 2 years ago my son had to leave the business and get a job elsewhere because I couldn’t afford to employ him anymore. He’s happy at his new job and will stay there permanently.

I have such crippling doubt that I’ve made a bargain with myself. I’m going to hold onto this business until after the 2016 US presidential election. If the Republicans win I will keep holding on. If Hillary wins I will hold on for a few more months after the election. If another Democrat other than Hillary wins I will shut down my business and retire to take up candle making as a hobby. I really don’t want to do that because I was born to be an entrepreneur. This business was my second successful business venture and I live to solve customers’ problems. That’s hard to do when all your customers seem to have been swallowed up by some big hole in the earth.

Many of my suppliers have simply closed up shop or are in the process of liquidating their inventories.

My business is not losing money and that’s the only reason I haven’t shut it down.

My anxiety level has been through the roof since 2010 and I’ve been under the care of a psychiatrist ever since.

If I hadn’t experienced success with my two businesses in the past I would just conclude that I suck at this and shut down. Talking to other entrepreneurs, I know it’s not just me it’s this weird new normal we’re living in where nobody ever seems to need to buy anything.