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I kissed my cofounder and I liked it.

While it’s not unusual for ‘camp’ feelings to emerge in a start up, serious resistance proved fruitless.  As this continues, it seems that there is something on both sides that amounts to more than close-quarter attraction.  Other than adding ‘prenup’ language to bylaws, what are some best practices to such a situation should it continue?

  • Nothing good comes out of shitting where you eat, especially in startupland. When the lust goes sour or a big organizational change comes, I hope you won’t be the one shafted (one side always is), despite naively expecting that your shmanging means triple loyalty from your partner. Lookup founder breakups from Tinder, et al.

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    • Don’t be such a pessimist! There are many examples of married founders working out fine (ie, eventbrite)

      Also, founder.breakups suck no matter what.

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      • Successful workplace couples usually happen in stable (i.e. bigger/established) companies, not new startups. Eventbrite founders were a couple before starting the company.

        All founder breakups suck but the dating is an extra layer of sh*t and horror (on top of an already messy situation) that you can do without.

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  • I’m crushing so hard on one of my advisors and despite the fact that whenever I see him I want to wrap my arms around him and kiss him like he’s never been kissed before, I control myself. Do you know why? Because I want him in my life for the long term no matter how that plays out. Value him way too much as a person to rush into something and value my company too much to lose it by losing the number 1 person in my corner that’s been helping me drive the ship inspite of the downs. I’d rather look up a year from now and it happens to grow into something awesome founded on things that aren’t just surrounding the startup than 3 months from now and say, I hit that and lost someone that I really respect along with my business. I really couldn’t be where I am now without him. My advice – wait until you know that it’s not the startup that’s building the attraction and that it’s the actual heart of the person you are falling for. You only know the difference when your time together isn’t just involving the start up.

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    • Good for you. I tell others in similar situation, is your business less important than getting into a hookup which may go nowhere or worse, end terribly? If it’s worth it, then the attraction would last as long as it takes to start and stabilize company before you act on it.

      Reply

  • If this is a real relationship than you need to DTR with your cofounder fast. If you are both on the same page than I think it can work. If not than ratchet back to the friendzone. Watch your back, because people use sexuality and emotions to manipulate.

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