When I told my friends, they called me mental, sick, insane, stupid – and I must agree.
30 days ago, I, female, 29 and with no experience as a CEO, took over my company with a runway of maybe 4 months and with fires all over the place. This company is burning where a company can possibly burn – because of the mismanagement of three really, really, really incompetent young idiots.
I watched them burn it to the ground and when they finally left, I was offered to take over. The worst imaginable decision I could ever take – I said yes. Despite knowing all of the misery.
I think I am insane. I think I should question my self-value. I think I need therapy. Why would I, a girl with plenty of job opportunities all over the world without any knowledge in how to be a CEO – why would I just agree to take responsibilities of a mess I did not create? Just because I want to clean up? Make it better? Prove myself that EVERYTHING can be fixed by good management? Hell, how will I possibly know that? I feel schizophrenic. On the one side I know, that only one mistake will fuck me up completely. On the other side, I feel that I can make it work. And in between, there is me, an exhausted mind and body who hasn’t slept in 30 days, since I took over and who is depersonalizing every day bit by bit. And the worst thing of all is – I don’t feel that I want to change it. So, clearly, I AM INSANE!!!
I just try to trust my instincts, follow my reason, listen to my employees but we are running out of money and I have an investor over my head who only cares for the growth but who is 100% guilty of the mess this company is in. Every single cent I spend will decide on our faith and I got 3 months to turn the destiny of this company and no one to consult. What will happen? For the first time I can only see one way. I must succeed. I don’t see any alternatives.
Is this suicidal? Is this dedicated? Is this strong? Or is this bling?
I will let you know.