I was one of the first hires, within the first few months of the company’s existence and just after the seed round. I worked along side the first few guys for nearly a year straight, no additional hires were made. We fought through the down times (literally) and enjoyed the good times and I felt close to people for the first time since I left college. We built things, solved some problems and hurt our heads on others. We were rewarded and with additional funding allowed to carry on. It was a momentous feeling.
When we got our first office, I carried in the furniture and helped build the desks. I was there through the whole process of carefully selecting new team members. I never felt a disconnect from the founders and me, I felt like I was a part of this company and my DNA was forever imprinted within it’s walls. As my college life dissipated, it was slowly replaced by something greater. I was proud of the work I did and although I knew this wouldn’t be my home forever, it was for now.
We had a tough quarter of technical growing pains and missed goals and shortly before our board meeting I was swiftly asked to resign. It was a quick swift kick to the gut. I was the youngest in both age and work experience so I always struggled internally to keep up with our team but I never felt like my trajectory was unsatisfactory or would warrant dismissal. I can’t help but feel like I was a convenient fall guy for a tough spot.
It’s been long enough that it is not as painful anymore, and as I reflect I feel very optimistic about my future and more in control than ever before. I learned such a great deal in such a great time to know these things and for that I am grateful. But there is still a big hole in my day to day life of just being there, with those guys, joking around, playing nintendo, working hard. I miss the environment quite a bit and that’s painful. I’m not sure what compelled me to share other than it was recent enough that this just seemed like the right thing to do. I’ve given plenty others the mundane details of the what and why but I haven’t gotten a chance to just talk about how it felt.
It’s funny, when I saw this site I laughed out loud at the premise…. then immediately realized I needed it.