Four years back I quit my job to start my business. When asked about this so-called bold decision I had told a friend of mine, “I am going to try to succeed as an entrepreneur for the next 30 years. If I fail after 30 years I will then look for a job”. I am now at a juncture that I need a well paying job — like last month. I have not been able to pay myself from the past 5 months. I had to fire two employees (there were 4 when the firm was healthy). I am 2-months behind on my payments to ones that are still with me.
I am feeding my family on borrowed money. I don’t have the energy to pick myself up and think of an idea that may save my business. I think my teammates can see this in my face. I have to be honest and tell them all to go find better jobs before I run out of cash.
I need to look for a job. Will I find one? Will the job that I find pay me well enough bring my finances back to a decent shape? I avoid meeting people nowadays. What if at the new job, people around me start asking questions like, “hey, I heard you were running your own company before this. What happened?”. I know the answer, but will I have the guts to stand tall and reply to them?
What will my employees think about me when I tell them that I am folding up? What happened to all the pep talks that I had given them in better days? What will my relatives and friends think of me? I am wallowing in self doubt where I should be dusting myself off to do what’s needing to be done.