Do you have founder depression or anxiety?

Slightly off topic, but hopefully still relevant… maybe it’ll be useful for those who want to mention something openly here – either in this thread, or another (and I know that there’s already several which touch on this)?

I think it’s a bigger problem than many realise/admit, and in a conventional forum would probably merit/benefit from being ‘a sticky’.

Who?

Firstly I’d like to share how glad I’m for finally finding a website like this. It would have been of great help when I was on my darkest phase. Anyway, just wanted to share that I’ve been close to suicide and now, 6 months after all my life felt down, I can see light at the end of the tunnel (and for the first time I’m seeing it as a way out and not as another train coming).

So, for those who were lucky enough to find this website on their darkest hour, I can tell you: it takes time to recover from start-up founder burnout and depression, BUT IT’S POSSIBLE!

I hope to share more details and help others, through this website, as I recover. But in a nut shell my story is: after 3 yrs with my startup, my investor didn’t recover his investment and I’ve invested all my own life savings on a strategy pivot that didn’t produce the expected results. Also, I end up breaking a relationship of 17yrs with my wife. I’m 40 yrs-old and after closing the office and layoff a 5 persons’ team, I had to come back to live at my mother’s place.

I’m pretty f***** up yet emotionally and financially, but on the latest 2 weeks I have improved enough through the usage of strong medication, contact with my dog (that had stayed with my ex), exercising and meditation.

I hope the words above find the ones in need and I hope to share what helped in my recovery, the few interesting articles/books that helped me and the next steps I’ll be taking and their results. But be sure: a few months ago I was researching about ways to suicide and writing my farewell notes. A few weeks ago I was sleeping for 18 hrs/day for several weeks, with no will to leave my bedroom. In the latest 3 weeks my medication seemed to kick in and I’ve being able to stay wake for at least 12hrs/day, perform 1 or 2 tasks, and start to think about what I’ll do with my life and the Apps I have developed.

Yes, it sounds like nothing, but even when taking a shower or prepare your food is a challenge (many times I showered once a week and didn’t eat for 48hrs), performing 1 or 2 tasks in a day is great. Actually, what I recovered were my feelings of hope. It was the first thing I lost when I closed my business. And it’s the first thing to recover to be able to move-on. I hope to bring positive thoughts and experiences on my next answers.