No family, no real friends. A CEO of a multi-million dollar company said I should get married… Been too hurt to even open that can of worms and dating is impossible because I intimidate most men I’m attracted to or they aren’t ready.

  • Female CEO here. In between investment rounds, I basically became so broke that I almost ended up homeless. I had to move in with a male friend and take a kind of housewife role temporarily.

    I found that I am just as good in that role as I am a CEO. It allowed me to reconnect with the nurturing and considerate aspects of my nature that I had not honed in some time.

    It is possible to be feminine and gentle, as well as intelligent and powerful, and all virtue is to be found in the balance between vices. I encourage you to explore your softer side, your humanity, your domestic arts. You may find that this draws men towards you, along with people in general. Let down that armor – what got you here won’t get you where you dream of going next.

  • OP: Maybe you need to take a in-depth vacay to Scandinavia and import a man back with you. For serious: Those countries are full of hot, egalitarian dudes who have no issues with equal partnerships and doing their fair share (domestic chores, raising kids, etc) and definitely aren’t intimidated by successful women. Cherry on top: great personalities, often creative and stylish. Give it a try, I quite enjoy them.

    Female founder

      • A non-original feature (quite a few dating sites are set with only women having ability to pick the men) does not equate to a new/successful product. Bumble’s gonna need more than lame plugs to help it.

        Besides, while I’m all for anyone asking anyone out, I (and lots of women I know) ultimately prefer guys with the balls to chase a woman properly.

  • OP Here, I literally came extremely close to finding someone that understands entrepreneurial life and made me feel comfortable enough to start letting my guard down, but when I let my guard down, it all blew up in my face.

    Every other guy I meet either doesn’t get what it’s like to be an entrepreneur, to be so driven and passionate about what your work is that they want to domesticate you fully and stop you from achieving your vision. OR, there’s no way to put this nicely, they’re just too darn stupid and clueless about life.

    When I was speaking to a success story CEO, he said that I will not make it through this battle alone and that I need a spouse. But that’s exactly what’s happening and it’s been too hard to date because of time, but also because it takes me like forever to get comfortable with someone I like because I’m too afraid and I want my next relationship to be for keeps. I don’t have time for casual sex or drama.

    I have no clue if there’s any validity in what he’s saying…. Just wanted to know if there’s any other female CEO out there experiencing what I am.

    • The guy sounds like people who tell you the easiest way to learn X language is to get a lover of that nationality. You don’t need a spouse, although its nice to have one if he’s supportive. If anything, some work things might be easier to get done now before you shack up.

      What you need is a support system like 1 or all of a few friends/family members/mentors/support group. Since no family/friends, look for or start a peer group of entrepreneurs at same stage (i.e already up and running, X size, etc). Avoid free-for-all groups, which are usually full of wannabes without a clue. Also join a hobby group as a way to make friends not from startup world.

  • Female CEO here. I have to lie on OKcupid about my job (I usually put ‘front-end developer’) to get dates which either end up as no callbacks or shamelessly asking me for a job. I’m not into casual sex and looking for a long term partner as well and it seems impossible.

    The longest I ever dated, the guy kept putting the company down and telling me to quit and go ‘get a real job’ (even though we had successful traction and early investors) along with being a general smug asshole. We finally broke up when he assaulted me. I’ve just given up, spent my bonus on Amazon on great vibrators (hello cyber monday!) and if I ever want kids/family, I think I could just DIY it.

    • Front-end Developer?? No wonder you don’t get callbacks. If you’re not going list your real title then why not go with something more creative and fun like Designer.

      Or just go with Business Owner instead of CEO (which usually sounds to corporate anyway).

      • Well, before I was CEO I was a front-end developer at an ad agency so it wasn’t too much of a stretch. I just don’t want to outright lie about what I do, and I don’t understand why I have to lie anyway. It seems terrible to start any kind of relation (friendship, romantic or otherwise) with so much dishonesty.

        • I really hate this stigma about professions… equal number of assholes and idiots are everywhere (CEOs, Devs, Biz Owners…) so don’t judge anyone by it’s title. If I am you, I would put self employed…

          come on guys…do you go on a date with somebody just because he/she is CEO?

          • Male here: Why lie? If you actually get a call or a date mainly because of the lie you told , then how is that getting you to your goal of getting into an honest relationship?

            Be yourself, that’s enough! If you’re a founder, you might meet another founder. If your a front end dev, you might meet a “back end” Dev! Stop playing these dumb ass games with your personal life.

            Be real! Justmy2cents

  • Why a smart and minded guy would date a female CEO ? I’m a male CEO, and I like impressively talented and entrepreneurial women (my wife is like that). But honestly, a man must be mad to choose a female CEO. Like I am to choose my wife. And like my wife is to choose a man like me!

    We, founders and CEOs, male or female, have a strong desire and capability to turn everything to our will. But as much we can do that with startups, products, customers and employees, we can’t do that to a spouse. Period.

    Often I’m upset because my wife does something which goes in the wrong direction. Often she is upset because I’m not obedient. Yes, she expects me to obey her desires like a tot. And I’m always confused when she did not what I said. But ten years after our marriage we are still there. And often we think about divorce because of “insufferable” things. But maybe we never thought about divorce both at the same time :o)

    You, female CEO, can’t date. You can lie to date, but it won’t last long. It’s ok for casual sex and drama. But you don’t have time for this. And you want to let us think you could have time for more ? “No, I have no time for a coffee, but I’m ok for a one year world tour, or founding a family and raise children”. Seriously ? Don’t you lie to yourself a little bit ? :o)

    To be loved, be lovable. Men won’t change for you if you don’t change for them. It is never easy to change, but if you are not too old, you certainly can. It’s up to you.

    Best wishes to all female founders and CEOs, you are the ones I love and hate the most ! :o)

    • I agree with you….being lovable is the most important.

      I know of successful love story between CEO and circus artist, ex nude model. Lady even ended up working for his company (staff hated it) and was literary used to get the ideas to CEO easily….meaning, get friendly with her, persuade her in your idea and she will do the pillow talk for you. 🙂

  • Be yourself. Live your life. chase your dreams. the right man will find you and you won’t have to debase yourself on line advertising. Be so busy doing what you do that a man has to chase you to get you.

    Forget online dating. It’s a complete waste of time. go to conferences, flirt, apply to speak, blog, go to meetups. men are everywhere and if they’re single and straight they’re fair game.

  • Absolutely love this thread….some great advice given to this lady.

    What I ve seen so far…in relationship usually one is the leader the other just follows.

    2 in charge and super ambitious…hmmm… is that possible?

    So if you want to be the leader find a men who doesn’t mind living in your shadow and who will follow you to the end. You know these combinations… bartender and biz dev, a nanny and ceo…no offense to anyone here, I respect ALL.

    Just be open to ALL sort of people, that’s all and have fun.

  • I have to agree with a previous post re the country.

    Australian female here, living in Australia, married to an American and I have American citizenship. My male mentor is a former senior VP of one of the largest companies in the world.

    Huge difference in how women are treated in each country even though we are similar in most other ways. Men (I have found in general) here are incredibly turned on by women giving it a go and becoming entrepreneurs, where as in the States I found it very different.

    I found it so surprising that one post said she has to lie about what she does on okcupid because she’s a woman.

    However, I also found it incredibly bizarre that your mentor thinks you need to get married – why?

    My mentor is secretly hoping I don’t go down the road of home life because he thinks I’ll choose to have children and my career and drive will be gone.

    So two bits of advice – explore why you want to get married (honestly, I wouldn’t do it again). And if you really feel you want to do it perhaps explore a different type/nationality of man.

  • I think you’re prefect just the way you are. I am a male CEO of what is now a start-up, what will be a multinational corporation very quickly. Honestly, I truly understand what you mean and fully agree ” most people just dont understand entrepreneurial life, they’re just too darn stupid and clueless about life.”

    Also, it takes me like forever to get comfortable with someone I like because I’m too afraid and I want my next relationship to be for keeps. I don’t have time for casual sex or drama, as well.

    Also, just because someone is CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation doesn’t mean they’re always right. Should is actually a word that is not good to use. They didn’t become successful by being right all the time, I’m sure there is merit to their statement nonetheless. But yes, It does seem a “spouse” certainly is the yin to the yang. He didn’t say it had to be overnight either

    Hm, are you a Libra by chance? Anyway, personally, I’ve been going through the exact same thing… the joys of being a 27yr old CEO/ start-up entrepreneur, it is interesting to come across a female with the same perspective. So, at least you know your not the only one. To be honest, it is nice to hear there is a female CEO experiencing the same thing. Trust is a very difficult thing to establish, and must take precedence. Love is funny though, through all the tragedy of romance, love seems to happen when you least expect it, and its just right; like two perfectly in tune notes.

  • Same person who posted the bit before, about going through the same thing and fully understanding your situation. You know, I would be interested to get to know you more, and at a pace comfortable to you; also share aspects of myself with you. Possibly build and grow

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