My wife is a constant pain in my ass about my startup. Having her as the sole bread winner has cost me more than just my pride. It stresses me out every day. I can’t move forward quickly enough.

Whoa. Have you spoken to her about it, including specifying your concerns as you stated them here? You should also discuss the reality of startup life: how everything takes 2.5x longer than expected, plenty of rejections (funding, sales, partnerships etc), and the fact that lack of support affects your ability to do your best.

Maybe she senses a lose lose situation. You fail and her hard earned money goes in the drain. You succeed and you thrust her aside for a hot young cutie.

Anonymous says:

March 20, 2014 at 1:42 am

Yup. I think that’s a possibility. Many wealthy men have done that. She’s basically slaving away to help him build a successful business with the risk that once he succeeds he’ll upgrade to a newer, more attractive model.

Anyways, he shouldn’t put everything on his wife like that; he should work and also do his startup. It’s possible to do both at the same time.

Reply

I went through the same. When I was younger my boyfriend was very unsupportive of my decision to become an entrepreneur rather than getting a traditional job, like he had. Even when we got to a point where we were making pretty much the same, his constant questioning of my professional choices (he doesn’t really see any virtue in starting your own company) put me in a situation where I had to choose between him and my job.

Anonymous says:

March 20, 2014 at 1:45 am

Which did you choose?

Reply
- Anonymous says:
  
  March 20, 2014 at 2:24 am
  
  I chose my job. After a few years we re-encountered though, and are good friends now. He found a person who’s taken a more traditional approach and I’m still single but doing what I love. Not trying to building a life together has certainly eased tensions between us.
  
  Reply
  - Anonymous says:
    
    March 20, 2014 at 3:27 am
    
    That’s good. I think you made the right choice. Always pursue your dreams, even if it means going against your partner.
    
    Reply

Get a day job.

A female here. That sucks. My husband is completely supporting us but I try to add value through some non monetary ways i.e if he’s actually bringing in the money then I don’t think he should have to to house work, laundry, grocery shopping and things along those lines. Don’t get me wrong things aren’t always easy but there is a way to add value to your living situation. If your wife is the bread winner and then still has to deal with house duties then I’d be pretty pissed too.

While your post seems to imply this is about your wife being angry about the lack of financial support I am left wondering if the bigger issue is a lack of emotional support (e.g. You’re not providing her the attention / presence she wants). I think it’s important you figure out which is the bigger driver of her unhappiness as the potential solutions are vastly different. If she’s truly unhappy with your financial contributions and unwilling to play the long game, you may have little choice but to find alternatives to being a better financial provider now. That said I suspect this has more to do with than just money. The good news is that is an easier problem to solve.

If the warrior Queen is not supportive of Her warrior King Sparta is lost.
If your spouse is an entrepreneur tell them, “fight to win or come home on your shield”.

@kaffegeek

Anonymous says:

March 20, 2014 at 1:35 pm

are you married?

Reply

Actually sounds like its motivating you quite a bit; “I can’t move forward quickly enough.” is something a lot of startup founders don’t have… maybe she knows you better than you think.

well, technically if she’s the sole breadwinner, and you’ve not been helping with anything at all, it seems reasonable.

The complaining tone seems to be the real reason why she’s pissed off. You’re failing with your company, and not even earning anything, and you don’t have the ability to communicate properly like a reasonable person would do, and still you’re blaming your wife. Wow.

You cant stop and you cant fail though be aware your victory could be Pyrrhic. Speaking from experience (sold my house, bmw and boat to fund a troubled business and left a high paying job at HP) and now on 2nd marriage, I can tell you this lack of understanding about each other on both sides is a real cause of divorce.

You may have be an entrepreneur and be willing to live in a cardboard box for a shot at the title, unfortunately you and rest of us here on this site are the only ones who get it. Your wife unless from an entrepreneurial background probably doesn’t and cant.

Your kids wont understand when you cant pay their school fees and your wife wont understand that you cant pay the mortgage.

Its a vexed situation with no real winners, you are unfortunately entrepreneurially afflicted and she is unfortunately married to you.

Your options are full steam ahead damn the torpedos or work to bring in some income and build your startup part time. Neither party is likely to be happy

Im with dawg

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