I made an employee cry today. I was straight with them and that made them feel unappreciated. I feel bad because they are the most hardworking person in the startup. Does this make me an evil CEO?
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Not if you apologize.
Being straight with somebody isn’t an excuse for being an asshole. People use phrases like “just want to tell it like it is” or “just want to be honest” as an excuse for acting like an asshole. It’s the same with “I don’t want to be sexist, but…” or “I’m not trying to be racist, but…”. People know they’re about to say something hurtful (or racist/sexist) and then they go on to say it anyway. That’s not OK.
As the CEO you have to be considerate and respectful to your employees. So yes, you should apologize.
What’s the point of demotivating your hardest working employee? It’s not “evil”, it’s just stupid.
That depends on what you said to them. Was it facts + constructive ways to improve? Or did you just put them down?
Depending on scenario, you can also use the sandwich: compliment + negative + compliment. But sometimes the message gets diluted and you will just end up at square one.
He’s going to flex his power next ?
Build up your EQ.
And maturity.
Whenever you have to deliver difficult feedback to a team member you start by complimenting them: “you’re doing a great job on A, B & C. Thanks!” Only then so you move on to asking them to raise their game in another area.
As most evil in this world – it does not know or believe it is evil, and yet it is evil nonetheless.
I could not in a million years imagine what I would say to an employee to make them cry. If you feel they deserve such harshness – then you should not have hired them in the first place, or you should let them go. No one deserves such harshness – seems you have a huge gap in how to deliver productive feedback, and communicate with others in general. It sounds like a huge red flag.
I’d be concerned if I was you – if others on your team have suffered humiliation by you, you can be sure they are resenting it and talking to one another about it. You will end up with productivity grinding to a halt, or losing your team entirely.
And you say this is your hardest working employee? What in the hell have you just done? And how are your less hard working employees feeling about them selves, their jobs and their value?
I think your employee just wrote a confession of their own:
https://startupsanonymous.com/confession/i-will-be-quitting-the-small-startup-i-work-for-soon-do-i-tell-them-honestly-why-im-quitting-that-theyve-created-a-toxic-environment-that-i-think-the-company-is-going-to-fail-that-the-founder/
You are just an idiot (am I straight enough?).
You say he is the most hardworking person and you problably just destroyed, almost for sure in not recuperable way, his motivation and his joy to be in your workplace.
And not only his, you probably also destroyed that of the coworkes who saw you doing that or him after what happened.
Be prepared to lose in the short term both him and his other collegues, you seems the type of guy who can easily create a toxic environment.
Good job.
I think that’s a bit harsh given that we don’t know the context in which this chat was delivered. Ppl can cry for a multitude of reasons (eg, feeling guilty, just feeling emotional that day, etc). I think we should be constructive on this forum.
And in my experience, ppl who are quick to call others idiots, well…. (you fill in the blank).
None of us really know what’s going on in each other’s personal life, or head, that could be causing anxiety. Always treating people with the utmost respect as a person is critically important. There are proven ways to provide constructive feedback on a work product – several are mentioned above – but always, always treat others with respect.
I’ll add one more tool for your toolbox: if you appreciate them, say “I appreciate you.”
Ask yourself: was it the message, or was it the delivery? If it was the delivery (which I suspect is the case) then you have a learning opportunity. The ‘how’ to provide feedback is just as important as the ‘what.’
Some staff use crying as a manipulation tactic as well.
Well some one cried on me .because I said why should I do your work when getting 8 people up .i was so tied and stressed my self.she had not done one.and it happens quiet regular. So I tell her again and again she crys.and I feel bad .and then I listen to her story’s .i say never mind ,and she dose it again .and then goes missing .and I still feel sorry people call her names.i don’t but i feel bad ,can any one give me some advice .she is in her 50 very clever a bit of a recluse, but ver child like any advice
Well, what did you say to make your employee cry? Was it really that bad?
I said why are you not helping me ,do you no how hard it is to get all these people up for breakfast, but she goes of in her own little world.
You are not an evil CEO!
I share the same experience, as I have had several employees cry as a reaction to honest feedback.
Even if positive feedback is given along with the bad, like the sandwich, some people are just sensitive when it comes to recognising their failure to meet expectations.
I’ve often asked myself what I had done wrong, and I realised that I have mentored so many employees to accomplish great things with honest feedback.
Sometimes those employees might end up leaving, and it’s not a bad thing… It just reaffirms that the employee was not fit for the take at hand.
When you have weak leaders, situations like these ones don’t happen much, but the team performance isn’t challenged to achieve greatness!
I think you’re a driven CEO who aspires great things so you need to be surrounded by strong performers.
Don’t beat yourself down, as long as you can honestly say that you’re always respectful while giving feedback!
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