I’m sleeping with one of my co-founders behind the other’s back. I’m afraid he’ll find out and get pissed.

Why would he get pissed, unless he’s got a crush on you or something? Either way, you’re a free woman(I’m assuming), so you can do as you please.

Oh dear

Sounds like a novella dum dum dahhhhhh

Why is it a secret?

why would you do this? Are you trying to start a business or hook up? I have a feeling your start up is on a fast track to nowhere.

Probably best to leave the company and continue dating.

Wow, you ARE as messy as fvck. Without assessing details, the fact that you’re are both hiding it indicates it’s inappropriate, probably for various reasons (eg you’re both married to/dating other people, other founder was/is involved with your co-fvcker, all 3 of you had all agreed not to mesh work+personal, etc)

If I was the other founder, I’d drop y’all personally and professionally asap because:
fvcking aside, what else will you hide? Could you both conspire to commit fraud, cheat me of my ownership in the company, etc? How do you both really feel about me? I’ll never know, so better safe than sorry.

Anonymous says:

March 16, 2014 at 9:43 pm

It’s simpler than that actually. All of us have been friends for a long time, and started working together on our startup about a year ago. A common friend who’s not involved in the project got married a few months ago, and we hooked up at the party and have kept doing it ever since. We know our other partner won’t be very pleased. He’s a serious guy and doesn’t like this kind of shit at work, and I would normally agree, except that I really fell for this guy (the guy I’m sleeping with), and it seems like he has feelings for me as well.

For a while hiding it was actually quite a lot of fun, we would sleep at either of our apartments, and arrive at different times at the office, or work from home and pretend we were at different locations. But now I’m starting to feel guilty, and I think we either need to come clean or, better yet, one must leave the startup. We are figuring it out.

Reply
- Anonymous says:
  
  March 17, 2014 at 12:22 am
  
  I don’t think it’s your other co-founder that you have to be worried about, but rather the wife of the co-founder that you’re sleeping with. This will bring unnecessary drama to your startup. Can’t you two just agree to stop sleeping with each other and keep the whole thing a secret?
  
  Reply
  - Anonymous says:
    
    March 17, 2014 at 1:02 am
    
    He’s not married. We are both single. The guy who married is another friend not involved in our startup.
    
    Reply
    - Anonymous says:
      
      March 17, 2014 at 2:42 am
      
      Then I see no issues with it. As single adults you are free to do as you wish. Plenty of couples have successfully started companies together. Just don’t bring the emotion and drama to work and you’ll be fine.
      
      Reply

Be an adult and come clean.
Say that you guys have feelings for each other.
If you don’t say and he finds out he will leave because you are be trying his trust.
Partnerships are about try’s more than anything else.
If you are unable to be honest with biz partners you should not be in biz

Trust is very important in a start-up. If you’re hiding this from your business partner, what else is being hidden?

I was going to be condescending and moralizing, but the reality is that the company will probably fold and monogamy is for married people. Sleep with ALL your coworkers.

Anonymous says:

March 18, 2014 at 3:33 am

+1

Reply
- Anonymous says:
  
  March 31, 2014 at 8:50 am
  
  +100
  
  Reply

It happens. People tend to be cooler about this kind of thing than you’d expect when you’re on the inside of it… as long as you respect them and come clean honestly. The longer you wait, the more you risk damaging relationships all around.

You are violating two cardinal rules at the same time.

1) Never sleep with a colleague.

Because: When it is time to break up, you may be out of your career.

2) Never cofound with a close friend unless you are willing to lose them.

Source: Firsthand experience. Not both at the same time though!

my cofounders started dating each other 2 months after we started the company, it’ s ruining our dynamic. They feel the need to take time for “themselves” and as a result, we work less. When there is a disagreement, they are a team that now side with each other. Think about the third person in this situation and how they must feel.

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